i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
