on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
