Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
