just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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