so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize