she told me i tasted like america
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
