what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
