Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
