Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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