He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I fill condoms, not promises.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
