I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
high people should be assigned attendants
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
