i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
