barbara walters just said penis...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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