That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
