It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I checked into jail on foursquare
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
