Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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