Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
