i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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