OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize