i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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