dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
