yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
