Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
