I just cut my nipple shaving
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
