I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
