Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
