drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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