...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
