Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have already put on my inside pants.
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