I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
