i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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