elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
