ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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