Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
