I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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