After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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