once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
