I'm so fucking centered right now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
