They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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