Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
