i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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