This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize