I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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