What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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