Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm at about main and main street
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
