pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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