I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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