It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
