she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize