it's like iHOP with fire
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
