My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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