So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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