its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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