Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
