epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
