apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
