Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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