Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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