Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
