I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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