I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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