I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
