i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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