My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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