Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
