How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
