I just pynch a tree in the face
nutella sex= disaster
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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