I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
