Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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