yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
