Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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