sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
